4/22/06 02:07 pm - jabberwocky16 - near drowning occurs, compact jumps impossible
So I'm re-certified! Hoorah!
when i came home, i smelled like summer. For those of you who've forgotten what summer smells like, it smells like chlorine, McDonalds, and my steering-wheel cover. hahaha okay well maybe that's just for me. The only thing missing was the vanilla pipe from that old man in his speedo.
but yeah, afterwards, i was starving because that was the most physical activity i'd done in a WHILE. So i got McDonalds. Oh how healthy i am!
it wasn't so bad, except for the fact that i nearly drowned while trying to save my partner. He was about my height, but ripped as all heck-- he was one of the most dense people (weight-wise) i've EVER met. He had absolutely no trouble saving me, but when i had to save him, even with the normal active/passive drowning, i nearly died. I put him over the tube, and spent about thirty seconds kicking with all my might and NOT MOVING AN INCH. I was NOT HAPPY. Why did I have to save the incredibly heavy guy who looked like he only weighed ten pounds? he had to keep helping me when the instructor guy wasnt looking, because it was QUITE obvious that i was going to DIE.
on the upside, he couldn't swim the 500 with out dying himself, so that equalized the playing field.
It never ceases to amaze me how many lifeguards can't swim. Anyone else have low tolerance for that?
not to mention the instructor was a NAZI about compact jumps. fucking compact jumps... THEY ARE USELESS. Stride jumps have a purpose. Compact jumps are IMPOSSIBLE, and pointless. Anyway we dont use ANY of the lifeguarding things at Woodlin so what does it even matter. the only thing they really should teach us in re-certs is like, "Rule #1: Don't piss off Joann. Rule #2: Don't piss off Bill. Rule #3: Always wait till you're on duty to eat from the snack bar."
The lifeguarding books have an unhelpful solution for every problem, that always seems to include "Keep the victim comfortable." But the one thing that it DOESN'T tell you is what to do if your OCD starts acting up during the written lifeguarding exam because you're using a pen, and those damn circles are FAR too big to fill all the way in correctly with a pen. Seriously it took me FOREVER to finish my exam, because I kept freaking out if there were white spots in my circles, or they weren't evenly black. i like... couldn't move on to the next one until my circles were shiny. and those circles are BIG.
NOT TO MENTION... the kid sitting next to me, who ended up being my impossible-to-save partner of DEATH wasn't even FILLING IN HIS CIRCLES. he was putting big "x"s in them. not even BIG "x"s. just little, one lined "x"s. IT KILLED ME.
LOVE TO ALL!
HAPPY ALMOST SUMMER!